I didn’t realize how bright the lights would be. I was sitting on stage, in a room of 500 or so people, but when I looked out at the crowd, all I saw were those blinding white lights. It was 2008, and I was the moderator of a packed session in a ballroom at South By Southwest. I was about to make my public speaking debut at a social media event. Actually at the Super Bowl of social media events.
And I was 120 seconds away from almost having a panic attack.
I began the session by introducing the 3 panelists. I got through the first introduction fine, but when I went to introduce the second panelist, I looked at the wrong set of notes, and lost my place. And this is when time literally slowed down for me. I scanned feverishly for the second panelist’s bio for what felt like 5 years.
I suddenly became incredibly aware of the fact that I wasn’t saying anything. Then I realized that since I wasn’t saying anything that the audience had to know that something was very wrong.
I was 120 seconds into my public speaking debut at a social media event, and I am suddenly considering getting up and walking (who am I kidding, RUNNING) out of that ballroom.
Fast forward 5 years. Earlier this month I spoke in Nashville, presenting Think Like a Rock Star to a crowd of about 150 people. No panel this time, just me. When I finished, a few dozen people came up and one gentleman told me ‘That was one of the best presentations I’ve ever seen’. Then another attendee told me ‘I’ve been coming to these events for 8 years, that was easily one of the Top 5 presentations I’ve seen here.’
What changed in the course of 5 years? You have to admit, going from almost running off the stage at SXSW to having multiple attendees telling you that your presentation is one of the best they have ever seen is a pretty big transformation. Here’s a few of the things I have learned over the last five years and I think these tips will be especially helpful to you if you are also an introvert that wants to become a better public speaker:
Put the spotlight on your ideas, not yourself.
A couple of years ago I was talking to John Moore about speaking. Like me, John is an introvert, but he’s also an incredibly good public speaker. He told me that ‘some people speak to put the spotlight on themselves, others speak to put the spotlight on their ideas’. This speaks to the heart of why I think many introverts hate public speaking, because we hate the idea of being in the spotlight. But when we think of speaking as being a way to make our ideas the star and give them the spotlight, then I think speaking becomes more interesting. Or at least less stressful!
By transferring the focus to your ideas, as an introvert we also transfer the spotlight. We don’t talk about ourselves, we talk about our ideas, and in doing so, that means we can brag on our ideas in a way we would never feel comfortable doing if we were talking about ourselves! The goal then becomes helping the audience realize and understand why they should embrace and value this idea in the same way that I do.
Your idea is a gift to the audience.
Think about how you use social media. If you’re like me, you spend a good deal of time sharing links to articles you have read and enjoyed. Why do we do this? Because we love finding and sharing valuable content with others. It makes us feel good to pass along an article or blog post that we know will help someone else.
Your presentations are the same way. There’s a core idea that embodies your presentation that’s going to help your audience. One of the thrills I get from presenting Think Like a Rock Star is that every time I do, there’s that moment. The moment when I make eye contact with an audience member and their eyes suddenly get big, they smile and immediately start quickly making notes. The ‘A-Ha!’ moment! That moment when you can almost see a light bulb go off over their heads that they suddenly ‘get’ why your idea is so powerful and valuable to them.
I *love* that, because at that moment I know I just gave them a gift. The gift of knowledge. And they will then go take that gift and it will help them improve their business, organization, fund-raising, whatever. I know at that moment that I helped them, and that’s an amazing feeling.
If your ideas are interesting, then YOU are interesting!
Four years ago I began giving the presentation that would later become Think Like a Rock Star, which would later become the book of the same name. As soon as I began giving that presentation I noticed something: I became a ‘better’ speaker. Before then, audiences were generally pleased with my speaking, I got my fair share of compliments afterward from attendees, and had decent turnouts for my sessions.
In 2009 at Social South, I presented What Rock Stars Can Teach You About Kicking Ass With Social Media. I honestly wasn’t sure how the audience would react to it as the topic was a bit different from anything else I had ever talked about. As I started the presentation, the room was completely full, people were standing up and lining the outer wall, and there were a few dozen people sitting on the floor at the back of the room! Afterwards, the attendees just gushed about the presentation, and said it was amazing.
The next year, I spoke at an event tailored to the apartment industry and presented Think Like a Rock Star for the first time. It was a two-day event and I sat in session after session of topics finely tuned to the apartment industry, with case studies about that industry. I was getting VERY worried because my topic was so different. On the second day before my session I sat in on another social media speaker. He was brilliant, and gave an incredible talk on email marketing. And 20 people showed up. I was officially getting worried, and afraid that no one would show up to my session, which was next.
Instead, my session was delayed getting started because we had to bring in dozens of extra chairs to accommodate everyone that wanted to attend. I’ll never forget the image of the event organizer literally sprinting in and out of the ballroom with extra chairs! And the audience loved the presentation, and afterward I again heard glowing reviews.
Later that afternoon I was walking down one of the halls and a woman literally stopped me and said ‘I saw your Think Like a Rock Star presentation this morning. THAT should have been the keynote!’
‘Really?’
‘Absolutely. I would have paid the entire conference fee just to see it!’
Now here’s the thing: I *knew* that I hadn’t suddenly become an amazing speaker overnight. The only thing that had changed was the content I was talking about. But then I realized that the way I was presenting Think Like a Rock Star was different. I realized that when I talked about Think Like a Rock Star, I put the spotlight on my ideas! And those ideas resonated with the audience, so the presentation resonated with them as well.
Which means in their mind, I suddenly became an excellent speaker.
People love stories.
Businesses love case studies, but people love stories. I had always tried to incorporate case studies into my presentations before Think Like a Rock Star, because nothing makes your point better than showing the audience how a similar business implemented the ideas you are promoting, and saw success from their efforts.
But with Think Like a Rock Star, instead I told the stories of how rock stars connected with and embraced their fans. I walked the audience through how and why rock stars sought a close relationship with their fans, and what led them to that point. The case studies became stories, which made the presentation more interesting. Note too that this is another way to take the focus (along with the stress of the spotlight) off you as the introverted speaker, and place the spotlight on your ideas.
So what happened at SXSW in 2008?
At the opening I mentioned how my public speaking career got off to such a rocky start five years ago. Despite horribly botching the introductions , I didn’t run off the stage. I somehow collected myself, found my place in my notes, and finished the introductions. From that point the rest of the session went very smoothly. But I still felt horrible about screwing up the opening.
Afterward, I immediately apologized to the first panelist I saw.
“I’m so sorry for screwing up the introductions, I feel terrible about it!”
He looked at me as if I had just accused him of being the wrong gender. “What are you talking about?”
“You mean you didn’t notice my pregnant pause before I introduced you?”
“Nope.”
Lesson learned. 99% of your mistakes when speaking will go completely unnoticed by the audience. Or your fellow panelists. The audience doesn’t realize when you lose your train of thought or forget what comes next. For an introvert, this might be the most reassuring speaking lesson of all!
So if you are an introvert, please don’t dismiss the idea of speaking publicly. It truly is an amazing experience and if you focus on how you can put the spotlight on your ideas instead of yourself, I think you’l find that the process itself becomes much more enjoyable. If you need more technical tips, I’ve also written The Introvert’s Guide to Speaking. By following the advice in that post and this one, I’ve gone from being terrified of public speaking, to actually LOVING speaking to an audience. It’s also led me to being one of the more in-demand speakers on social media and fan engagement.
And speaking of being in-demand, this is probably a good time to announce that I will be keynoting The Social Media Tourism Symposium in Huntsville on November 6th. I’m really looking forward to this event and I will also be doing a book signing for Think Like a Rock Star and will be in town for the entire event.
If you would like to discuss having me speak at your event and do a book signing, please email me to check availability. I’d love to help you make your event more successful! If you know someone that needs a speaker for their event, please pass this along to them!
john moore (from Brains on Fire) says
Thanks for the shout-out Mack. Good post. Your story and advice is sure to inspire other introverts. Riffing off your post, I have five more nuggets to add…
#1 | The audience wants you to succeed.
Introverted speakers need to remember when giving a presentation on-stage, the audience isn’t there to heckle you or laugh at you. The audience wants you to succeed. The graciousness of the audience is something too many presenters forget exists.
#2 | Introvert offstage. Extrovert onstage.
One can be shy offstage but onstage shyness is a presentation killer. An introvert needs to speak in a louder voice, use bigger motions, and show enthusiasm.
#3 | Presenters are in control.
Introverts can become more introverted in situations where they have no control. Delivering a presentation on-stage is most times a planned conversation. You, the introvert, are in complete control. You have the microphone. You have the floor. Being in control of the speaking situation can free us introverts from the fear of the unknown. The unknown can cause us introverts to not feel comfortable and thus, become more introverted.
#4 | Less what you say. More how you say it.
This is the biggest lesson I’ve learned as a speaker. Trust in yourself that you know the material and focus more on HOW you say what you say. Stand with confidence. Pause more often. Smile widely. As the audience size gets bigger, your on-stage motions need to get bigger. As you note Mack, the audience doesn’t know the script so they don’t know when you’ve gone off script. Dig?
#5 | Practice. Practice. Practice.
It’s cliched to say practice but the reason it’s a cliche is because it’s true. The more time an introvert spends on-stage, the more comfortable they get. Double dig?
Mack Collier says
AMAZING comment John, thanks so much! I think points #1 and #3 will be especially comforting for introverts!
Carrie Morgan says
As an introvert who’s having to really get out of my comfort zone this year – including speaking – I’m pretty certain your post just saved me from the first known death via panic attack. I’m doing a webinar in July (first webinar ever) with about 1,500 attendees and ALREADY freaking out about it. It won’t even happen for two months! Your thought of taking the pressure off because it isn’t about me, it’s about the idea – is a life saver. #deepbreath #exhale THANK YOU.
Mack Collier says
Yay Carrie, glad it will help you! Really if you think about it like you are telling a story and the story itself is the star, then it’s MUCH easier. Then they will love the story and love YOU because you introduced them to the story 🙂
Good luck, rock star!
Jennifer Kent says
Thanks for sharing this difficult personal moment with us!
I have only spoke in front of groups between 6 and 30 people and there were definitely moments where it was all I could do to get through. It is easier for me when I am instructing on a specific topic or leading a committee through an agenda than when I am sharing my opinion.
I am so glad to hear that it gets better and that there are specific things I can focus on that will help!
Mack Collier says
Jennifer I think it really helps to understand how the audience views you (more to John’s comment), and also as an introvert to realize that your ideas can be the focus, even the HERO of your presentation. So they are int he spotlight, and you get to share them with others!
Gini Dietrich (@ginidietrich) says
You already know we are soul beings when it comes to this. I remember once asking Jay Baer if he was nervous before going on stage at an event we were both speaking at and he said, “After you do this many, you no longer get nervous.” I remember thinking, “THEN WHY DO I?!?”
That was four years ago and I STILL get nervous, but I realize now the nerves are what keep me at the top of my game in that first five minutes of presenting, but knowing the content is what Jay meant…you screw up when you don’t know your content. So, to John’s point, practice, practice, practice.
Mack Collier says
I still get nervous every time I speak. As long as there are a few hundred people (or even a few dozen!) looking at me, I am going to get butterflies. But I am more comfortable because I know the material, as you said.
The funny thing about speaking is that I am nervous before I start, and I am disappointed as soon as it ends!
john moore (from Brains on Fire) says
Right on Gina. If you’re not nervous before a talk then you’re not trying hard enough.
I use my nervous energy to serve as motivation for delivering a better talk. The times I’ve not been nervous I’ve not challenged myself enough and the talk has fallen flat.
I game the nervous system by always changing something in my presentation before delivering. Changes include: rejiggering the slide order, using a new opening, closing with something new, going into the audience to strike up an impromptu conversation, acting out something different in my talk when on stage, etc. Changing things up keeps me on toes and always makes me a little nervous… which is a good thing to me.
Sara says
Well written and totally relevant. However, I would like to point out that extroverts can have the same problems as introverts. Just because I gain energy from being around people doesn’t mean that I am automatically seeking a spotlight. In fact, I kind of hate being the center of attention. It’s too much pressure. (Which means, even if I gain energy, sometimes it just turns to nervous energy.) I love the idea of highlighting your ideas and making them the center of attention rather than viewing it as being the center of attention yourself. It takes some of the pressure off.
All of this to say, this advice is great for extroverts and introverts alike.
Mack Collier says
That’s a good point, I think introverts want to shy away from the spotlight more, but it can definitely apply to extroverts as well! I think most people in general have some trepidation about having a room full of eyes on them!
Malhar Barai says
As always, great points Mack!
Loved the last part where you say – 99% of your mistakes when speaking will go completely unnoticed by the audience. So true!
Vena Jensen says
Well said, great points! These talking points demonstrate the value and wisdom of EXPERIENCE. Thanks for sharing yours with us!